And Away we GOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Well, we are off to Breckenridge for some skiing!  I can't believe we are taking this on, but everyone seems to think it will be a great time!!  I know once I get there I will relax and enjoy--but do you KNOW how much you have to pack for 2 kids and 2 adults? :)

Catch you on the flip side!!

I'm having a bad day. . .

don't you just hate those?  especially when the day previous was so delightful??  ugh
woke up with a killer sinus headache--figures (however, we slept until 8--the whole house, even Jason; this is me trying to focus on the positive), I had the windows open all day, and we were outside all afternoon yesterday.  I got camden off to school and decided I was not going to workout yet.  .  .it was too cold to walk (my original plan) so I plopped--I don't feel well, remember??  I started feeling a little better and planned to workout, but Jason called and forgot his computer at home--so I took it to him.  This didn't make my day bad, it just messed with my schedule--but I'm a domestic engineer, I can be flexible and make it work!!!  I knew that probably I wouldn't be working out so I went ahead and stopped for milk and then picked Camden up from school--so far so good.  .  .while I was there I also bought some of those black elastic hair band thingies for my hair--they don't work, they just pop off. .  .DANG IT!!!!!@!!
We get home and Evan and I haven't eaten, I tell Camden that I'm going to make us some lunch and then they can play--guess what: Camden is hungry too--this is weird b/c he's NEVER hungry. .  .(hahaha)--so I split up last night's homemade pizza between the 3 of us, divvy up the strawberries and give myself a salad.  Evan is a bit of a whiner, and learning some words would be good so he can stop pointing at things that I don't see and crying b/c he wants them.  .  .Camden tries to be helpful, but sometimes he perpetuates the situation.  PLUS, he often ignores when I'm telling him not to do something and does it anyway.  Sometimes I can deal--but today, not so much--I'm having a bad one.  ANYWAY, the boys go upstairs to play and of course about 5 minutes in Camden decides he's done.  I ask him to give me 15 minutes to get my clothes put away (a task that is VERY difficult when Evan is downstairs b/c he is into EVERYTHING) and then I'll let them come down.  I get done, let him know, but he has decided playing is fun and he wants to do it a little longer.  I do my routine 5 minute check and Camden has dumped every bin out into the FLOOR and the bins are stacked nicely up on his train table.  He tells me this is because his friend Lauren doesn't like to have to go back and forth to get things out. .  .LAUREN IS NOT HERE!!  ugh.  It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't a fight (a blood pressure raising, mommy yelling fight) EVERY TIME it was time to clean up.  .  .but it is, and I'm just not up for it.  I very calmly let him know that he was to pick every toy up and put them back in the bins--he would do nothing until that was done, and this was the only time I would tell him.  .  .

I wonder if it will work???

I guess it's good to have bad days sometimes, because otherwise how would I know when I'm having a good one??  :)

Yea yea yea--so your kid eats vegetables. . .

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH-and seriously--I'm so J-E-A-L-O-U-S!!!!  My kids are picky--picky--picky!  Now, we knew Camden was picky, but Evan is getting pickier and pickier every day!  Tonight on the menu: Chef Boyardee (which I try to limit to a few times a month), and mandarin oranges--he ate the oranges-that's IT!!  He will eat grilled chicken, and last week he ate some beef that had been cooked in the crock pot--so in that aspect he's a better eater than Camden, but still--there's NO VEGGIE that either of my children will eat on a consistent basis!!  Don't think I haven't tried--I have.  I guess some kids are just picky.  I hate it, I really do.  I'm good, I don't make a "kids meal" and an "adult meal"--NOW, I will sometimes "modify" but I try to make sure we are all eating basically the same thing.  If I'm making something that I just KNOW they won't eat, or if it's the weekend--I'll throw a hot dog or some nuggets at them, but other than that I work hard to put good nutritious food in front of them on a daily basis.

I also don't believe in cutting out all snacks!!  Camden has gotten very good about choosing "healthy snacks", in fact when he asks for one he will always say "can I have a HEALTHY snack?" :)  I've been hitting up the grocery store at least 3 times a week for fresh fruit--it's washed and kept where he can get to it in the fridge so when he does snack he can grab that!  So, the question is, does fruit replace veggies?  If my kids eat healthy snacks (a reasonable amount of snacks--b/c remember 5 small meals is better than 3 large ones) does that make up for their lack of healthy dinner?  I can't just starve them--I know they say kids will eat when they get hungry--but guess what people--I DIDN'T!!  I guess the thing to do is just relax, let my kids be who they are and ignore all those people who's kids eat anything you put in front of them?

I guess now I know how my parents felt.  .  .

:)

It's not as if you asked, but I'm sure you wanted to know!!!

So, it's no secret to my friends and family that I really struggled with my decision to be a stay-at-home mom.  I've always worked, ever since I was 16-and the idea of being home ALL day and ALL night just totally freaked me out!!  In the beginning it was very much a necessary evil, there was truly no way I could work (and bring home any money) while Jason was gone.  WAIT WAIT--let me retract, as I have learned a lot about myself over the past year, I could've worked and taken care of the children as a "single mom" as I know women do it EVERY day!  However, it wouldn't have made sense financially to do so b/c once I paid for gas and daycare I wouldn't have any take home left.  Hence, I decided to stay home, and have since decided to stay home for all practical purposes.  When Jason was gone staying home was pretty difficult.  Very much like the movie Groundhog Day--Sunday thru Saturday was literally the same--and I am a person that needs to get out and be busy.  I did everything I could think of, started going to church, signed Camden up for sports, went to the gym--it worked for the most part, but I always felt like I was just constantly searching for the next thing we could do to get out of the house!!  Once Jason came home it was a whole different ball game--I actually felt pressure to make sure the house was completely picked up when he arrived home, and to have a delicious healthy hot meal on the table, and be showered with my hair done and make up on.  .  .Then I discovered he really could care less if the beds were made, or the laundry was put away, or if I laid down and caught a 15 minute nap.  . .he did prefer that I shower (though he never mentioned it, I just assume he likes me showered better than not showered due to the smell and all-hehe)!  I found myself (and from time to time still do) wondering: what is my purpose?  I need approval, recognition, something. .  .maybe that's why I enjoyed working, maybe you weren't constantly praised, but at least you brought home a pay check every so often!  Lately, I've found that I'm actually enjoying my role at home (as much as you can enjoy being a domestic engineer).  I just want to share with you some of the things that make it easier for me, in case you too are struggling with the decision to stay home!!

#1--don't pressure yourself to cook fancy meals or do elaborate crafts.  just b/c you are a stay at home mom doesn't mean that you will instantly become crafty or a good cook!!!  the cooking I was okay at before, and I do enjoy having more time to explore new things and prep healthier dinners for us.  the crafty--well, I'm still working on that one!!  I was not born with the talent and I have pretty much given up on it!  don't expect homemade Christmas gifts from this family, or homemade wrapping paper on your birthday gifts, sorry--it's just not in me!  I've accepted it and moved on!!

#2--make a list.  I have lists EVERYWHERE, you know what they are good for???  CROSSING THINGS OFF!  I have often found myself looking around wondering what on earth did I do all day?  I never get anything done--ENTER LIST.  .  .ahhh--that's what I've done, I can see it b/c I've crossed items off.  I have lists on paper, on my dry erase board, on the back of receipts, on my iPhone.  .  .EVERYWHERE!

#3--challenge yourself to work for one hour a day on the chores you hate.  do you hate cleaning like I do?  are you sad that you feel like your only purpose in life is to clean every day??  here's what I've started and it's really working.  my house in general is clean, not so much tidy, but clean.  I've started challenging myself every day to clean just for an hour.  it's usually the hour between working out and lunch when Evan is sleeping!  I can usually finish the task I have chosen (bathroom) and then some before the hour is up.  and you know what--then it's just DONE.  you have accomplished what you needed to get done, and have not spent your WHOLE day cleaning!  there is nothing worse than spending all day cleaning just to find by noon the next day it all needs to be done again!  you will DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY!

#4--find a good group with children in your child's age group.  this one is very important!  I have been lucky enough to become friends with a group of women who all have children who are either Camden's age, or Evan's age--or very close.  When we all get together, everyone has a playmate and it works.  It's also nice b/c, even though they don't all go to the same school, it seems they all have the same vacation calendar!  That makes for playdates, picnics, field trips, etc all together!

#5--pursue something you wouldn't be able to do if you were working.  take advantage of this time, if you can.  it doesn't have to be anything HUGE.  just think back to when you were working at a desk, what did you daydream about or think--"if i didn't have this job, I would do _____ "?????  i chose exercise.  I found it an impossible thing to do when I was working.  By the time I got home around 6:30, rushed around getting dinner ready, then getting Camden ready for bed and sitting down for a few minutes--there was just no time to workout!

#6--have an idea of what you are going to do every day.  every morning when I wake up I usually know what needs to be done, and when I'm going to do it.  I don't know why, but it helps make the day run smoother.  if I know I'm going to need to do some dusting or laundry AFTER I pick Camden up from school I let him know.  "Mommy has a few things that i need to get done, and after that we can play" it usually works, and often he asks if he can help!

#7--sometimes throw it all out the window and go to the park!!  it really doesn't matter if you have worked out, gotten your hour of cleaning in, or have dinner ready to go at 5:30-what really matters is if you had a good day with your kids!!  I don't do it every day, but quite often I will throw it all out the window and play!  it won't be long until my kids are telling me to go away, or I'm embarrassing them--so i need to take advantage of this time with them!!  these days are the best days!!

#8--don't be embarrassed to remind your husband, that you need time for yourself or you need a night on the town.  I don't think they realize sometimes how daunting it can be to be in the house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  until you've done it, you couldn't have any idea!!  sometimes, a night out without kids, or just a few hours shopping by yourself can mean THE WORLD!!  (it's also nice if you don't have to plan the date, babysitter, etc.  .  .)

#9--try to not have a routine on the weekends.  this also helps when your hubby is deployed, I just wish I had picked up on it sooner!  weekend nights we might get to stay up a little late, play a little Wii, watch a movie.  maybe in the morning we eat our dry cereal on the couch and watch some cartoons--try to throw some of the structure out on the weekends, or as much as you are comfortable with anyway!!

#10--take advantage of the freedoms that a domestic engineer has.  I may take off mid week and go visit my grandmother, meet friends for dinner around 6 on a Monday, or hit up Toddler storytime at 10:15 on a Friday.  these are all things I never would've been able to do with a regular 9-5 job!

I know as soon as I hit post I will come up with more, but for now this is it!!  I'm certainly no expert, but I also know it's totally normal to have second thoughts about giving up that job and staying home (which is a 24 hour 7 day a week job)!  It's a huge change and adjustment (I know, as I'm still adjusting everyday)!!

Frozen in time

Do you ever have one of those moments in your life that you wish you could just freeze?  Ingrain it in your memory so you never forget it?  I'm sure we all do, the day you got married, or when you had your first child, or graduated from college.  .  .or maybe it's just a wonderful unexpected beautiful fall day playing kick ball with friends at a "college football kickoff party" (if you were there, you remember this day)!!
Well, the other night we had one.  I'm going to just jot it down here for my own purpose, as this is a blog about my life, and one day I will look back and read it and cry--because I cry over everything!!

The boys and I went to church Wednesday night and had dinner and played with friends, we go pretty much Wednesday but this was the first time everyone has really been at 100%--usually I'm worried about Evan being tired or not feeling well b/c he's been sick for the past month!  Anyway, it's typically a later night so we got home around 8:30, we should've gone straight to bed, but for some reason we found ourselves on Mommy & Daddy's bed playing with party horns that had been handed out in Journey class, and just hanging out.  There was so much excitement, laughter, and talking--I couldn't bring myself to make it stop so we could all get to bed!  As I looked around and watched my sweet boys and my husband I just thought--this is it, this is what it's all about--thank you for blessing me!  Don't you just love those moments??


Camden at his first basketball practice

I guess I also need to go ahead and fill you in on Evan's 15 month stats:

WEIGHT: 24LBS 15OZ (44%)

LENGTH: 31"(41%)

HEAD: 18 3/4" (60%)

The doctor really freaked me out this time because they were so "concerned" that he doesn't have "words" yet!  He's usually VERY laid back and go with the flow on stuff so I was surprised--and it's why I sort of freaked!  Anyway, sadly, I don't remember when Camden started talking--but I do know that it wasn't 15 months!  I started testing Evan with things and he definitely understand what I'm saying to him and he can DEFINITELY hear me--so I'm satisfied that he's developing right on schedule!  I was also a little surprised that they asked if he could color with crayons.  .  .I mean, he can EAT crayons--but I'm not sure I'm ready for him to color on my walls with them yet so I keep them put up as much as possible.  He is a very happy boy, and truly to know him is to love him!!  (just like his brother)

Camden wrapped up his basketball season on Saturday--he really loved it!!  I was glad to see him actually dribble, and run, and even attempt a few shots!!  He's ready for T-ball this spring .  .  .(Lord help!!)

(sorry for the not so great pics but our camera-computer sharing situation is a little complicated and I don't always  have access to the really good ones!)