You know what they say--"While Camden's Away. . ."

MOMMY WILL. . .

CLEAN OUT HER CLOSET??  Yes, yes it's true!  Camden is away with Nana & Mopa and I decided to seize the moment and do a much needed purging of the closet!!  I figured this was just the break I needed and it would make me feel good having done something productive while he was gone!!  It took me 2 DAYS!!  Possibly b/c I stopped to try on EVERY item of clothing, even though I knew I wouldn't keep it!  I just had to see if it was indeed too small or too big, or too out of date!!  I'm thinking of keeping this though:

Don't be too impressed--it's not zipped, it's just fastened around the neck!  I truly couldn't move!!  It was fun to get it out and put it on--it looks brand new!  I kind of wish I could bring myself to part with it so someone else could put it to use, but for some reason I feel the need to hold onto it!!

I can't believe how fast this summer is going--other than my mental breakdown it's really been a good time!!  ;)--of course it would be so great for Jason to be here to experience everything with us, but he will be soon!!  Camden often tells me how much he misses his daddy!  I know he can't wait to share his new pool skills!!

Check them out here:

http://gallery.mac.com/johnrharlow#100090

Evan is 7 months and growing like a weed!!  I have a feeling he'll be crawling soon, and I'll be in a whole heap of trouble!!  Camden is a GREAT big brother--he does all that he can to make him laugh--he gives him tons of hugs and kisses!!  

All in all things are going pretty well--I just keep telling myself there's a lot more behind me than there is in front of me!  (this is true in so many ways--haha!) SERIOUSLY though--things are looking up!  Can't wait for our navy family pool party at mom's & our trip to NC in July!!  

ZUMBA ANYONE?

For those of you who haven't heard there is a new fitness class that is becoming very popular (I am probably on the tail end of the craze here, but what's new)--ZUMBA!  I'd like to start by telling you 2 important lessons I learned today in ZUMBA:

1--don't wear anything that is tight, your thighs and bottom will jiggle and people will see, in this same line of thinking--wear a thong.  .  .

2--I am a GREAT dancer, just so long as everyone around me (myself included) has been drinking, and we are in a dimly lit room.  .  .

Those 2 things aside--I LOVED IT!!  I will totally do it again just so I can get better at it!!  I might become a Zumba addict, okay maybe not, but I would love to somehow get the "sprinkler", "grocery cart", and "roger rabbit" somehow incorporated into the dance steps!  Any class that I can dance to Jessica Simpson's "These Boots are Made for Walking", and Justin & Madonna's "4 Minutes" and break a sweat makes me happy!!  I know it sounds crazy--but seriously all you do is just dance--it's such a fun class!!  It seems that some of the ladies that attend the class regularly have these things that you wear around your waist--they jingle and stuff, I can't explain it--but I'm thinking this somehow makes you better at Zumba and I may need to find one.  Only problem with this is I'll be jingling at the wrong times.  .  .

I just wanted to share for those of you that see Zumba on your group exercise schedule and are wondering what it's all about!!  Give it a try--trust me, you won't be the only one trying to keep up, but I promise you will break a sweat and leave smiling!!  

Moving on, Moving on--Determination is KEY!

After yesterday's post I figured I better get on here and talk about some positive!!  I went to bed last night determined today would be a better day.  No matter what, no tears (from me anyway), and patience patience patience.  .  .

So about 6:50--EVERYONE decided it was time to get up (everyone but me, but what choice do i have?)--it was cool though  b/c Camden was READY to eat, and he did, and Evan was his usual chipper self!  

I have to admit that I sort of cheated on this whole determination thing b/c I was pretty sure I had a swim date set up with an old friend and her girls, and I was pretty sure I would be running an errand at Discover Mills--which would pretty much fill our morning.  .  .

So, we got ready and headed out to the Mills so we could exchange some crocs (it was hard, but I avoided the Carter's and OshKosh sales) then we headed home, stopped at Old McDonald's for a happy meal and put Evan down for a nap!  So far.  .  .SO GOOD!!  The rest of the day went just as smoothly as the morning--lunch, swimming, & playtime with Olivia and Abigail, pizza, popsicles, bath, and finally bed.  You'll note I'm writing this at 8:07--Camden is watching part of a movie but Evan is in bed.  

The day went well people--I just want you to know that!!   I feel as though maybe I've pushed through part of that wall.  .  .(maybe I should've blogged about it sooner-haha!)

Hope everyone has an awesome weekend!  See you navy wives tomorrow night!! :)

Alright, so I'm not okay--but seriously, what are we going to do about it now?

THIS SUCKS!  I would like to start and end this post there, but I guess I can't.  I seem to hit sort of an emotional wall as of late--and pushing through it is my only option.  It sucks b/c pushing through it is also the hardest option.  I've tried to pinpoint something that is causing it, but truly, I just can't.  Is it b/c Jason wasn't here for our anniversary and my birthday?  Is it b/c his package seems to have been lost in transit?  Is it b/c it was overcast for the first part of my day of leisure? Is it PMS?  Is it b/c I'm failing my 3 year old?  Is it b/c I haven't been able to get the "special" package that Jason requested put together?  Is it b/c I don't know what?  I DON'T KNOW--if I did, I would fix it!  

I woke up this morning feeling rather refreshed and I thought--"ahh, I can breathe again!  I'm on the road to feeling better"  Then Camden got up and wouldn't say "please" for his apricot jelly, and then he cried, and made me late to the gym.  .  .and then this guy came in and gave his girlfriend flowers in the middle of my step class (apparently he had done something wrong b/c she didn't even crack a smile) and the waterworks just started all over--in the middle of step.  .  .Those of you who know me, know that this is out of character for me.  I'm definitely a crier, but I tend to be more of a closet crier.  I will walk away from you, or even hang up the phone on you before I will cry in front of you.  So this has been just really hard to deal with.  I've given up hiding it from everyone, even the kids.  Camden brought me his frog today and told me it would be okay.  .  .

I found that I started this process trying to stay positive, knowing I could get through.  I even surprised myself from time to time.  .  .now that we are half way through, I feel like just curling up in a ball and closing the door until he comes home.  I KNOW this isn't an option, so don't go calling social services on me.  I love my kids and I will always do whatever it takes to make sure they are happy, loved, and taken care of.  That being said, this whole thing has been a rather humbling experience.  .  .I no longer think to myself when I see a kid pitching a fit "not my kid", b/c guess what--yes it will/has been/and probably will be again MY KID!  People who don't have kids, and people who have perfect kids who do exactly what you say, eat whatever you put in front of them, and ALWAYS say please and thank you--PLEASE KNOW WE ALL ARE TRYING TO GET OUR KIDS TO DO THE SAME THING, IT'S JUST NOT AS EASY FOR EVERYONE.  I have 2 very well behaved kids, I really do--but Camden is in his testing phase and I'm totally FAILING!  I'm not sure where I went wrong exactly b/c he used to say please and thank you, he used to eat better, he used to do what I said--this is no longer.  Getting him to say please and thank you, clean up his room, or eat his dinner is next to near impossible for me lately.  You can't know how frustrating it is when you really are trying to instill manners, and 3 year old responsibility (i.e., if you get it out, you put it up) and you just aren't getting through.  YES--I know, rewarding good behavior is a good method, staying consistent also another one, time out, taking away privileges, going straight to bed, taking away all of the toys he doesn't pick up (he'll bring them to you, or close his playroom door to save you the effort).  .  .trust me, I've tried just about all of it.  Every time I think I'm getting through he proves me wrong.  I can see why people give up, I see how people can call in SuperNanny (who I love by the way)--it's hard to be a mommy, and it's really hard to be one on your own.  I don't know how women do it by themselves all the time.  As I type this my sweet Camden has brought down his Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with the characters so he can sit next to me and play (he's also promised to take them all back up--haha, we'll see).  He has seen me crying and suggested I turn on the music that "Old McDonald" gave him so we can feel better!  SEE--HE'S A GOOD KID, we are just having a moment in time that I don't really want to hold onto.  I'm not really sure why I felt it necessary to share all of this info with my 2 followers--but for some reason it just makes you feel better to lay it all out.  

See, now I feel guilty b/c I've made it sound like my whole problem is Camden-and that's just not true.  That sure is a lot for a little one to carry around on his shoulders, so buddy if you ever read this one day "I love you more than you will ever know, and this just happened to be the thing I needed to vent about today, if I was venting tomorrow it would be something completely different."  I just can't win these days, and I think it's because I'm battling myself.  .  .this just brings me back to THIS SUCKS!

(ha, I guess I did start and end it there)

Short and sweet tonight

Hey everybody!!  Sorry I haven't written to update you on Evan's 6 month stats--the weeks are sort of packed and by the end of the night I'm usually DONE!!

So Evan is growing very well, he went down in his weight percentile,  and up in height (does this surprise any of us--have you seen his daddy??) :)

WEIGHT: 19LBS 8.5OZ (80%)

LENGTH: 27.25" (74%)

HEAD: 17.75" (81%)

He is really just changing so much--he's sitting up by himself, grabbing pretty much everything in sight--and if you are smart--you won't dare eat in front of him without making sure he has something to stuff in his mouth! :)  I lowered his crib the other day b/c he moves around so much he was hitting his head on his soother and grabbing his mobile all the time!  This seems to give him a little more room!

Camden is doing well--he's really enjoying his summer!  He is starting to enjoy swimming (shew--big sigh of relief) and is counting down the days for his trip to meet the big mouse, it's a lot of days, but he's not letting that stop the excitement! :)  Check out him out:

http://gallery.mac.com/johnrharlow#100089

This has been a emotionally rough week for me, Jason and I had our 7 year anniversary monday and I had my 29th (+2) birthday on Friday (thanks Moe!).  Thank you so much to my friends and family for making these days so special for me!!  It was truly more difficult than I thought spending them without Jason, but it was so comforting to have you all to share them with!  For those of you who experienced my little outbursts--thanks for not looking for the biggest rock you could find to hide under, I know I can be scary sometimes!! :)  I've never been quite this out of control of my emotions, it's slightly frightening.  

BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY 2 BLOG FOLLOWERS!!  Wish I had a prize to hand out, but I don't!  

EVERYONE HAVE A GREAT WEEK!